When it comes to the business of baseball, there is no offseason. Join MiLB.com's Benjamin Hill as he provides news and notes on what's going on in the fascinating world of the Minor Leagues.
If there is one constant in my life, it is that I am forever stumbling. And one thing that I've been stumbling upon with great regularity as of late are new Minor League logos.
Let's take a look:
The Ghosts of Casper, WY recently announced that Mr. Boyd Erickson of Bozeman, MT has been named the winner of the team's "10th Anniversary Logo Contest". Mr. Erickson has recently launched Tumbleweed Graphics, a design company, so perhaps this win will net him some business. The entire concept of a Ghost anniversary seems odd to me, as ghosts exist for eternity. There is no past or future, only an unending present of spiritual uncertainty within a hazily-defined netherworld.
The sun, meanwhile, is not eternal. Nonetheless, it possess a staying power that is largely unfathomable to those of us eking out fleeting human existences. Jacksonville's Minor League team, which is named after this pulsating orb of life-giving warmth, recently unveiled a new color scheme. Let's take a look at the old:
Looking at the above items, one would think the team was named the "Red"ding Phillies!
As tempted as I am to go out on that high note, I still have one more logo to share. Earlier today, the Arkansas Travelers unveiled their new ballpark logo. The "DSP" stands for "Dickey-Stephens Park", and none of the other virtually infinite things that DSP could potentially stand for ("Dee Snyder's Parents", for example):
This logo hasn't been very well-recieved on the team's Facebook page, with a standard complaint being that it would be more suited to a racecar track. But considering that ballplayers often motor around the basepaths, I say it's a perfect fit.
And on that note, I depart. In closing, I ask that you consider becoming my FRIEND and FOLLOWER. No, these two designations are not mutually exclusive.
After talking the talk, I realized I must walk the walk.
The talk that I've been talking is that social networking is an effective and low-cost way for teams to stay in touch with their fan bases year-round (I even wrote an article based on this premise, which can be found HERE).
I have spent the the better part of the past two afternoons making sure I am a "friend", "fan", "foe", or "follower" of as many Minor League teams (and mascots) as possible. But this represents just the proverbial tip of the iceberg when it comes to who I can connect with, so please do not hesitate to become my friend, follower, foe, or, where applicable, internet life partner. I always enjoy hearing from my loyal readers (and am still amazed that such individuals exist), and my new and improved online presence will only help facilitate such communication.
It will also help me keep abreast of what's going on throughout the Minors. What follows are a few things that I have come across in the course of my extensive Minor League Facebook and Twitter travels:
-- Last week, I expressed surprise at the fact that no teams had followed the lead of the Fresno Grizzlies, who produce a weekly "I Hate the Offseason" web series. Well, the Omaha Royals are doing just this, and the title of their series directly references Fresno's.
Behold "My Offseason Life is Average", episodes 1 and 2:
The O-Royals videos above are willfully absurd, but not so absurd as the true-life video that a Salt Lake Bees fan recently posted on the team's Facebook page: Bon Jovi's bass player, in a Japanese airport, wearing a Bees t-shirt! You can't make this stuff up.
And, finally, my travels led me to one of the best Minor League blogs I have seen in a while. It's called "Goshen and Giddings", and is devoted to illuminating the long history of professional baseball in Visalia, CA (a lot of great old photos and team programs are containted therein). An affirmative head nod goes to Donny Baarns, director of broadcasting for the Visalia Rawhide, for putting it together.
In closing, I would like to offer a few boldfaced ways in which you can get in touch with me. Please utilize the following options at your discretion. And thanks, as always, for reading.
The Minor League offseason has nearly completed its second month, so by now it would be logical to assume that my supply of 2009 Minor League promotion photos has been exhausted.
But logic has never been a part of this operation, and if it ain't broke don't fix it. Therefore, let me regale you on this late October afternoon with pictures of a promotion that the Myrtle Beach Pelicans staged back in mid-August: Locks of Love Night.
Locks of Love is an organization that provides hairpieces to children who have lost their hair due to a medical condition.Their mission statement reads as follows: to return a sense of self,
confidence and normalcy to children suffering
from hair loss by utilizing donated ponytails
to provide the highest quality hair prosthetics
to financially disadvantaged children.
Throughout the season, the Pelicans encouraged fans to grow out their hair so that they could eventually donate to this imminently worthy cause. On Locks of Love Night, five volunteers donated a combined 70 inches of hair. Additionally, a barber shop was set up on the concourse, offering haircuts in exchange for charitable donations to the organization.
Now let us proceed to the ample photographic evidence, starting with the "before" shot of what must have been the evening's hair donation champion:
The Moment of Truth:
Captured!
And then it was on to the next one:
This stoic youngster got in on the act:
As did team employees (Pelicans director of promotions Maggie Neil)
This guy may not have had enough locks to donate, but he did his part by paying for a haircut:
Bagged, Tagged, and Ready to Go!
Okay, I'm now fairly certain that my supply of '09 promotional pictures has been exhausted. Or has it? Only time will tell...
Thanks for reading, as always. I'll be back on Monday, ready to embrace the month of November head-on. Or at least that's the plan.
If you are anything like me, then the first thing that sprung to your mind upon seeing that this year's World Series would feature the Phillies and Yankees was this:
"How are New Jersey's Minor League teams going to capitalize on this match-up?"
Within 24 hours, that question was answered. And thank goodness, because I had been losing sleep over the matter.
The Trenton Thunder and Lakewood BlueClaws are jointly staging a "Choose Your Champ" contest, in which they are asking fans to submit World Series predictions (including winner, the number of games, and series MVP). Whomever makes the most accurate prediction will receive an all-expenses paid trip to the 2010 home opener of this year's champion.
This is all explained in more detail HERE, so the only thing that I will add at this juncture is to submit your prediction to chooseyourchamp@trentonthunder.com
So now on to the most important matter at hand: MY prediction.
The Phillies will win in six games, thus becoming the first National League team since the 75-76 Cincinnati Reds to repeat. (Suggested headline: "November Reign")
The World Series MVP will be Cliff Lee, who will allow one run over 17 innings en route to two victories over CC Sabathia (suggested headlines: "Simp-Lee Magnificent", "Lee Stings", "MV-Lee", "Lee Sends Message to Yankee Hitters, CCs it to Sabbathia").
I am done prognosticating, because I am an unabashed Philadelphia fan and it is therefore very Clifficult for me to do this objective-Lee. But I will close with the three most pressing items on the comprehensive "World Series Wish List" that I drafted yesterday evening while in an insomniacal stupor:
1. That fans of BOTH teams dial it down in regards to the angry tone of the trash talk. There seems to be no distinction anymore between passion and boorishness, and I have become disgusted at the level of obscenity that is tolerated (and, for the most part, encouraged) in the stands. Won't somebody think of the children?
2.But speaking of trash talk, here's hoping that the New York Post continues to engage in nonsensical front-page Philly-bashing. Rumor has it that they are going to follow up yesterday's image of Victorino in a cheerleader's outfit with a picture of Ryan Howard in a tutu.
3. Finally, and most importantly, I hope that this whole "World Series in November" thing never happens again. I often wake up sweating, out of breath and out of sorts, after dreaming that Game 7 of the World Series was played on November 5 in a 30-degree freezing rain. This is followed by the chilling realization that this disturbing vision could easily come true, and I spend the rest of the night pacing back and forth while singing the chorus of "Glory Glory Hallelujah" to calm myself down.
Here's to a memorable World Series, one that we will be telling our grandkids about due to the fact that they had to go to bed well before the games were over. And Go Phillies!
Less than one hour ago, I received an email which posited the following:
"How many world record attempts have started with a baseball mascot? Especially a bear! Axle the Bear!"
This whimsically-worded missive was sent by Atlee McHeffey, production manager for the Bowling Green Hot Rods. Axle the Bear is the team's mascot, and the world record attempt that he started was this:
But there is far more to the Aeros' operation than premeditated outbursts of Vanilla on Maple violence. In order to illustrate this essential truth, Calvin Funkhouser -- the Aeros exquisitely-named director of corporate and suite sales -- sent me an email containing some of his favorite photos from the 2009 campaign.
Before sharing these photos with the world, I would like to ask that other clubs (and fans) follow the Funk and send me your favorite photos from 2009. I will dutifully post them on this blog, and together they will serve as a beacon of light which will make our treacherous passage along the rocky shores of the offseason slightly less fraught with peril. In case you missed it the first 275 times I posted it, my email is benjamin.hill@mlb.com
And now, let's check out some pics (italicized text provided by Mr. Funkhouser).
Orbit's Birthday: We had all kinds of
mascots here. In the photo, Orbit is playing shadow ball with Sully from
the Lake Erie Monsters, the MUCaw from MountUnionCollege, and Moon Dog
from the Cavs (not pictured) is pitching. Orbit is swinging with a sword
that was provided by one of the mascots.
All I want to know is this: Which mascot had a sword, and why? Under those circumstances, it would be all too easy for a swing to result in a sliced fowl.
All Tuckered Out: The
next two pics are of two of our interns from the summer. Tex and Twilight
(nicknames used to protect the innocent) passed out on a Sunday morning in our
break room after supervising our second scout campout. Notice that Tex (approximately 6'4")
is curled up on the love seat, while Twilight (approximately 5'6") is stretched
out on the full size couch.
It is apparently Akron Aero company policy to issue their interns plain white t-shirts, athletic shorts, and New Balance sneakers. Individuality is then sublimated even further through the use of generic nicknames, so that the interns in question become interchangable cogs within an impersonal but dastardly efficient machine. Way to rip a page right out of the Fortune 500 playbook, guys.
Landlocked Is Just A State of Mind: The
last picture is of our promo crew, our marketing intern Brett, and me rocking
our sweet outfits on Tropical Beach Night. Notice the commitment to the
event that Brett (2nd from right) and I (left) had. That's right;
those are awesome mustaches in honor of Magnum PI.
Wait? An intern was just referred to by his real name? And he's not wearing a white shirt and athletic shorts? And it's possible that he's not even wearing New Balance sneakers? Well, then never mind my above analysis of Aero intern policy. It was clearly just a bunch of ponderously unfunny gibberish by a bored writer trying to cope with the relentless slog that is the month of October in Minor League Baseball.
"Weird Al" Yankovic, one of my all-time heroes, turns 50 years old today. Happy Birthday, Al!
While most parody artists are of the here today/gone tomorrow variety, Al has proven to have tremendous staying power. His appeal stretches across generational lines, and shows no signs of abating (his last album, 2006's Straight Outta Lynwood, debuted in the Top 10 and yielded a Top 10 single in "White and Nerdy").
But despite Al's long-standing role as one of America's foremost satirists, he has never figured prominently in the world of Minor League promotions and game presentation. I have always considered this to be puzzling, as Al's propensity for parody, puns, and family-friendly absurdism would seem to be a perfect fit within the anything-goes world of the Minors. In fact, I would argue that "Dare To Be Stupid" -- the title of one of Al's best albums -- serves as a near-perfect encapsulation of the everyday attitude that prevails in many Minor League Baseball front offices.
Therefore, I would like to use what little influence I have to sincerely ask that "Weird Al Night" be added to team promotional schedules in 2010. What follows are a few (okay, a lot) of suggestions that could help make this dream a reality.
What: "Weird Al Night" at the ballpark Where: Minor League stadiums nationwide When: April-September 2010 every year thereafter Why: To illustrate the symbiotic relationship that can exist between Minor League Baseball and America's premier parodist.
The evening will feature Weird Al's music throughout, as well as Al-themed games and contests, concession items, player headshots, and more. Let's break it down.
-- Player at-bat music consisting of snippets of Weird Al songs (at least for the visiting team). This would serve as a great way to inundate the crowd with the choruses of well-known Weird Al parodies ("Like A Surgeon", "Yoda", "Smells Like Nirvana", "Jurassic Park", etc. etc. ad infinitum).
-- Player headshots doctored in one of two ways -- the player's face could be superimposed on album covers such as these:
Or, Al's signature characteristics -- long curly hair and glasses -- could be added to existing head shots (yes, I know that Al got contact lenses and changed his hairstyle 10 years ago, but it's the "classic" Al look that is still most prevalent in the public mind).
-- Weird Al has written many songs about food throughout his career, so special items at the concession stand could include "My Bologna", "I Love Rocky Road", "Spam", "Lasagna", "Spuds", "Taco Grande", and, of course, the Twinkie Wiener Sandwich (taken from the 1989 cult comedy classic "UHF")
Happy Birthday -- A day at the ballpark isn't complete without a nod to those in attendance who are celebrating their birthday. Well, Weird Al has just the song for that:
Taunt Your Opponent with the music of "Weird Al"-- Whether it's part of a larger promotion or not, there are many ways to insert Al music and video into the game day experience. Some suggestions on how to rile the opposition:
-- When opposing team's pitcher is taken out of ballgame, play snippet of "One More Minute": "I'd rather get 100,000 paper cuts on my face, then spend one more minute with you".
-- When the opposing team holds a conference on the mound, play snippet of "Confessions Part 3".
-- If opposing team is melting down, play hook from "I Can't Watch This."
-- As a new pitcher warms up, play "Good Enough for Now" ("I couldn't live a single day without you. Actually, on second thought, well I suppose I could").
---- If opposing team's line-up consists of a big money first-round pick, play "This Is the Life" when he comes to bat ("I eat filet mignon seven times a day, my bath tub's filled with Perrier").
-- Finally, it's a little harsh, but how about this after a bonehead play?
(yes, this is from the aforementioned "Wheel of Fish")
Uplift the Home Team! -- Weird Al shouldn't solely be used to denigrate the opposition, however. Many clubs play rally videos if the home team is trailing heading into the bottom of the ninth. Well, it doesn't get any more inspiring than this:
Polka Your Eyes Out! -- Weird Al is a renowned accordion player, and 10 of his 12 albums contain polka medleys of popular hits. So how about hiring a polka band (or at least an accordionist) to play the national anthem and perform on the concourse? And let's not forget that the following ballpark staples (and many, many more) have been "Polka-ized" by Al, and could be played as quick audio snippets in lieu of the original song:
"Smoke on the Water", "We're Not Gonna Take It", "Satisfaction", "Love Shack", "Unbelievable", "Enter Sandman", "Walking on the Sun", "Tubthumping", "Let's Get It Started", "Take Me Out", "Drop It Like It's Hot", and the entirety of "Bohemian Rhapsody" (on 1993's "Alapalooza").
And, finally -- this is neither here nor there, but a Weird Al Minor League Ballpark Tour is something I would love to see. Move over Bob Dylan, because Weird Al is the true troubadour of our times, a walking embodiment of the pop culture zeitgeist.
In Summary -- I would never expect the above suggestions to be incorporated wholesale, but I do hope that they get those in Minor League front offices thinking about how the music and video of Weird Al Yankovic could be utilized toward a more fun (and funny) game day atmosphere.
I will gladly serve as a consultant on any proposed "Weird Al" promotional nights, as I feel a responsibility to the next generation to do my part to spread the Gospel of Yankovic. If there are those in the world of Minor League Baseball who also feel this responsibility, then I urge you to act upon it.
But if this post turns out to be just one more quixotic endeavor in a life filled with them, that's okay too. It was truly a pleasure to research and revisit Al's entire career, because to do so allowed me to to revisit an era of my own life in which he was my hero. In many ways, he still is.
So -- once again -- Happy 50th Birthday, Al. Here's hoping your reign at the top of the comedy music scene continues for decades more.
I am currently working on what can only be described as a "very special" blog post, which will run Friday. But by no means should this prohibit me from posting something today. So post I shall.
First and foremost, I would like to direct everyone's attention to the first-ever offseason edition of "Promotion Preview". This column will run bi-weekly through the end of March, giving me an opportunity to highlight the many events taking place at Minor League stadiums across the country. As always, email me at benjamin.hill@mlb.com in order to let me know what's coming up/going on/already occurred (this is part of my long-term strategy to embrace the past, present, and future with equal enthusiasm).
Moving on...it's taken me a little while to get around to mentioning this, but the Fresno Grizzlies are once again running weekly "I Hate the Offseason" video shorts. The club began doing this in 2008 as a way to engage the fans year-round, and I was certain that other teams would follow suit in '09. Thus far this has not occurred, marking the first time ever that one of my unsubstantiated assumptions has turned out to be false.
Regardless, each episode of "I Hate the Offseason" revolves around Parker the mascot getting himself into some sort of outlandish situation. This week, Parker goes mutton-busting.
Finally, and apropos of nothing, I would like to point out the existence of a website called Mystery Google (which I came across while perusing a list of websites that for one reason or another have directed people to Ben's Biz Blog). How it works is simple -- you type in a search term, and the site then directs you to what the previous user searched for. For example, I just went to the site and searched for "Taco in a Helmet", and what came up were the search results for "no not soul mates :("
This is the kind of thing I could mess around with all day. And since it's the offseason, that's exactly what I'll do (addendum: I did not do this all day, due to some definitively "NSFW" search results. I hope I do not get fired as a result of Mystery Google).
I am ready to embrace the offseason. I really and truly am. But if I come up with a blog post idea that will let me re-visit a time when Minor League Baseball was actually played every day, then you best believe I'm gonna do it.
And today, that idea is this: to present my favorite photos that appeared on this blog during the 2009 season. I did not apply any specific criteria when making these selections, other than to ask myself "Does this photo make my inner-most being cry out in rapturous wonderment?." If the answer was in the affirmative, then you will see it listed below. Hopefully, your innermost being will respond similarly.
What follows are my top 10 pics of the year, listed in the order in which they appeared on this blog.
Master Yogi Berra Lets Loose -- On April 21, Greensboro Grasshoppers canine mascot Master Yogi Berra had a bit of an on-field accident. The following is one of two pictures I obtained of the incident (the "clean version", if you will):
(Photo credit: Dano Keeney)
Ceremonial Centenarian -- On April 24, Round Rock Express season-ticket holder Chris Nocera threw out the first pitch. She is 102 years old -- and very determined:
Cream Stick Gets Creamed -- The Akron Aeros nightly "Cream Stick Race" was, by all accounts, a chaotic free-for-all. Here, Vanilla feigns innocence immediately after pushing Maple to the ground:
Ready, Set, Swallow -- Sword swallower extraordinaire Dan Meyer prepares to ply his trade in Huntsville. I was lucky enough to be in attendance for this, a post-rainout performance for an audience of 15.
A Moo-ving Image -- A key component of the Wisconsin Timber Rattlers' "Salute to Cows" was a mooing contest. The following picture depicts the eventual champion as he readied himself for the moo of his life:
Presidential Self-Love -- The Brookyln Cyclones gave away Obama bobbleheads as part of "Barack-lyn Cyclones" night, and the commander-in-chief went out of his way to let the crowd know that he approved:
(photo credit: George Napolitano/Brooklyn Cyclones)
An A-peel-ing Photo -- As part of the Idaho Falls Chukars' "Potato Night", so-called "Spuddy Buddies" were thrown into the crowd. It was a thing of beauty:
Mascot Massage -- In Birmingham, even costumed characters need the occasional rubdown:
Belly Quickly Busted -- This guy couldn't even make it out of the first round in the Williamsport Crosscutters' annual "Belly Buster" contest:
Owlz Well That Ends Well -- Hootz and Holly tied the knot in a dramatic post-game ceremony in Orem, resulting in a surreal and oddly touching spectacle:
If you have any photos from this past season that you think are worthy of inclusion in this blog, then by all means get in touch. I'll be waiting patiently for your correspondence.
Perceptive readers of this blog may have picked up on the fact that I have come down with a case of the "Offseason Blues." This ailment is not recognized by the mainstream medical community, so it has been hard for obtain the treatment I deserve.
But soldier on I must, so soldier on I shall. Today, I seek to derive strength and inspiration by conveying the following smorgasbord of Minor League news to you, the reader.
Dare to Be Stupid -- Teams across the country are currently taking advantage of October down time in order to plan their 2010 promotional schedule. At least two of these clubs are actively soliciting fan suggestions: the Great Lakes Loons and the Bowie Baysox.
In advance of last week's "Think Tank" planning session, the Loons put out a press release asking that fans submit promotional ideas on the Facebook page of mascot Lou E. Loon.
The Baysox, meanwhile, are asking fans to send an email to info@bowiebaysox.com with the subject line of "CRAZY IDEA." The caps-lock enamored club takes pains to emphasize that NO IDEA IS TOO CRAZY, so don't be afraid to really let loose. I just gave myself 30 seconds to brainstorm a crazy idea, and the best I could do was "hermit crab giveaway." It's been that kind of day.
A Trip Down Memory Lane -- I am in the process of putting together a spreadsheet of offseason Minor League events, so that I can write an offseason version of my "Promotion Preview" column. In the process, I have come across several worthy events that, alas, have already occurred. Such as:
Legends of Baseball Vintage Showdown in San Jose -- Former big leaguers -- including Hall of Famers Gaylord Perry and Rollie Fingers -- faced off against players from the California Vintage Baesball Association. The game was played according to the 1886 rulebook, meaning that Perry could finally throw a legal spitball.
Hall of Fame Fight Night in Corpus Christi -- Featuring eight bouts and a local Hall of Fame induction ceremony. What more could you ask for on a Saturday night in October at a Double-A ballpark?
Stone Crabs Celebrate Themselves -- In Charlotte (Florida), the Stone Crabs celebrated the opening of stone crab season by offering fans a $50 gift card with the purchase of a season ticket plan.
Dave the Horn Guy Update -- Every few months, I feel compelled to mention Minor League touring performer Dave the Horn Guy. Rather than question why this is, I instead direct you to THIS LINK. There, you can download Horn Guy ringtones. If you've never heard Usher's "Yeah" played through a chromatically-tuned bulb horn, then you've never really lived.
If there is one constant in my life, it is that I am forever stumbling. And one thing that I've been stumbling upon with great regularity as of late are new Minor League logos. 
