The Most Pressing Issue of the Day

mmm.jpgIn this age of information overload in which we live, it can be hard to cut through the clutter in order to focus on what truly matters.

But, today, I am asking my vast readership to do just this. Take a deep breath, ignore all outside distractions, and please give your undivided attention to this most worthy of causes:


Now in its third year, Minors Moniker Madness seeks to determine the best name in all of Minor League Baseball. Any questions you may have about this bracket-style tournament can be found in my introductory article, which is located RIGHT HERE.

When you’re ready to make your voice heard, then please head over to the polls. They are located RIGHT HERE. If you click a player’s name, then a picture, additional biographical information, and a short, ostensibly comedic blurb will pop up.

kingcomedy.jpgI would like it be known that I wrote all 64 of these blurbs, and it was no easy task. I was muttering, loosening my tie, and gesticulating wildly throughout the entire process, feeling like a Catskills comedian soldiering through c-list material in front of a bored after-dinner crowd. This despite the fact that I was alone in front of a computer (my usual state of being, as it were).

And, for the record, my eight favorite names in the contest (in no particular order):

Dusty Napoleon, Given Kutz, Flint Wipke, German Sacks, Darlin Duran, Beamer Weemsweems_beamer_96.jpg (pictured), Austin Bibens-Dirkx, and Jetsy Extrano.

Feel free to let me know your favorites. Leave a comment, send me an email, hire a skywriter, or just yell really loud. Its the thought that counts.


I love the blurbs Ben! Very creative and entertaining! I cast my vote and look forward to the next round. Too bad nobody is named Rebel Rookie.

I loved the voting! I’m going to link to your blog when I write mine later so more people can vote!


Flint Wipke deserves 1-1/2 votes for having the most interesting *names*. How could you NOT vote for this killer-combo? Sidney Errol Flint Wipke
[ ] . . .BeesGal

Dude, you know I’ve always been a Henry Henry guy! Though Jose Jose isn’t too far behind. Mets fans already wrote a song for him…

Hah, Beamer. I followed a link to the brackets and nearly burst out laughing when I saw Beamer. He played for Baylor, and we play Baylor every year. We always used to heckle him about his name. Good times. I’m glad to see his name is still getting recognition. Definitely have to vote for him. Baylor likes players with strange names.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: