Having A Cow In Wisconsin
Last week’s “Promotion Preview” column included the following, which I have edited somewhat in order to avoid seeing my bad jokes for a second time:
Wisconsin Timber Rattlers (Midwest League)
Salute to Cows, June 4
Wisconsinites are serious about their docile domesticated land mammals, as evidenced by the extravaganza that is Thursday’s “Salute To Cows.” The night’s on-field contests promise to be exceptionally entertaining, as fans will vie to see who is the best milk chugger, beef eater and moo-er (these sort of things demand to be documented for posterity).
Contest winners receive a year’s supply of cheese curds, which in Wisconsin are worth their weight in gold. A costumed cow is scheduled to throw out the first pitch, and all player head shots on the videoboard will feature milk mustaches. In short, this will be “udderly” amazing.
Due to the inexorable passage of time, June 4 has came and went. Fortunately for all involved, the events of that evening have been well-documented by Timber Rattlers announcer and blogger extraordinaire Chris Mehring. What follows is a photo-heavy look at the brilliance that was the Timber Rattlers’ “Salute to Cows.”
One of the premier between-inning events that night was the Milk Chug. I like to call this picture “Goldilocks, the Three Bros, and a Costumed Snake” (I’m not sure who won, but I definitely would have rooted for the guy who took the time to put on a bib).
1. A contestant is blindfolded by our mascot Fang and ready to tip a cow.
2. The cow awaits tipping.
3. The cow is tipped.
He goes on to add “If you live in Wisconsin, you get it. If you don’t live in Wisconsin, you’ll never get it.”
But what I don’t get, Chris, is why the cow isn’t tipped over in the third picture. It looks to me like the tables were turned, and the “tipper” became the “tippee.” Observe:
I will close with what may be my favorite photo thus far this season. I’ll let Mehring set the scene:
“When there’s a year’s supply of cheese curds on the line, one must moooooo from one’s soul. And the gentleman on the left is about to mooooooo like he’s never moooooooed before.”
Meanwhile, in the background, a human dressed as a snake dressed as a cow gives a shoulder rub to a human dressed as a cow. Just another day at the ballpark, in other words.
And — hey you! — do me a favor and get in touch. Be you fan, front office member, or (best case scenario) moneyed media mogul captivated by my mastery of a niche subject, I want to hear from you.
Apologies for being so back-logged on the blog, as well. Thanks to those who have sent me stuff, and are patiently waiting for it to appear on this hallowed sliver of the blogosphere.
In the meantime, read the latest “Promotion Preview.”