Broken News: Grown Man Wears Unitard, Squirrel Mask at Logo Unveiling Press Conference

The Richmond Flying Squirrels unveiled their new logo(s) today. Observe:

Details on the unveiling can be read in an article I wrote. THIS ARTICLE, to be exact. This journalistic masterwork mentions the fact that Flying Squirrels vice-president Todd Parnell wore a unitard and squirrel mask at the press conference, in order to promote the team’s upcoming “Name the Mascot” contest.

That’s right, a middle-aged baseball executive willingly donned a mask and form-fitting suit in a room full of photographers. And here, in what may or may not be an exclusive, is the photographic evidence:

Richmond -- Parny Unitard Tongue.JPG

Richmond -- Parny Unitard beleaguered.JPG

Richmond -- Parny Unitard Flying.JPG

Richmond -- Parney Unitard Flex.JPG

It is on days like this that I am awakened to the fact that my work here on this Earth is imbued with deep meaning and divine insight. I am merely a vessel through which such information flows.

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