Dare to Be Tacky b/w Division I Dog

Thumbnail image for grizzzzz.jpgYesterday I was preoccupied with photos of a man wearing a unitard, and therefore neglected to write about two imminently blog-worthy topics. I will rectify this situation………………NOW!

First up are the Birmingham Barons, who yesterday announced their “Clark Griswold Decorating Contest”. The competition, inspired by the bumbling patriarch of the National Lampoon Vacation films, calls for fans to do the following:

Deck your house with bright lights, tacky Santa figurines and enter for a chance to win a Barons’ season ticket package in 2010.

The prizes, they are as follows:

First Place: Two 12-game season ticket package and the opportunity to
throw out the first pitch at the Barons annual Christmas in July
promotion.

Second Place: Perfect-10 Plan.

Third Place: Box of Christmas lights.

It seems to me that awarding someone a box of Christmas lights is a bit redundant given the nature of the contest, similar to giving an eating champion a box of Ding Dongs for the ride home.

And speaking of Christmas lights and Ding-Dongs, here’s something that has nothing to do with either: Homer, mascot of the Peoria Chiefs, has turned down the Notre Dame coaching job. Read all about it HERE. Or, simply browse this excerpt:

With his previous five-year contract ending Monday night, speculation
had been running wild
homer.jpg that Homer may leave Peoria to take over as head
football coach at Notre Dame.

“This is where I want to be,” Homer said Tuesday through his
spokesman Lucas Smith. “Notre Dame football is a dream job for some
people and it is humbling to be considered. But when it comes down to
it, this is where I want to be working for as long as they’ll have me.”

The rumors started a couple of weeks ago when Homer’s name
was linked in an online report as a possible successor to fired
football coach Charlie Weis. Despite having no prior football coaching
experience, certain Notre Dame boosters were pushing hard for Homer to
get the job and return Notre Dame football to its glory days. It is
unclear when Notre Dame officials first contacted Homer or if they made
an official offer.

peoria.pngAn uninformed observer might think that this whole thing is a silly publicity stunt with no basis in reality, but as a Minor League expert I can tell you that this is an industry of unquestionable integrity. Press releases, like Shakira’s hips, tell no lies.

And if you think about it, Homer would make a good coach. He’d bark orders on the sidelines, chew out the refs, and play the trom”bone” at halftime, while always remaining fixated on getting to a bowl.

I apologize for nothing.

benjamin.hill@mlb.com
twitter.com/bensbiz

1 Comment

Want a piece of pizza? Think I got an extra piece around here somewhere.

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