Snoop, Yoopers, and Declarations of Indigestion
I’ve got a lot of West Michigan Whitecap news for you today. Like the Fifth Third Burger, it might take a while to digest. But, unlike the Fifth Third Burger, you won’t regret attempting to consume it one sitting.
You remember the aforementioned Fifth Third Burger, don’t you? The massive meat patty made international headlines last year (really), elevating the Whitecaps to Minor League concession stand royalty. The team knew they had their work cut out for them when it came to a 2010 follow-up, so, naturally, they turned to the fans for suggestions. 10 foodstuff finalists were chosen, with an online vote determining which would be served at the ballpark this season.
23,000 total votes were tallied, resulting in what the team describes as “the tightest race in food voting history.” It was so close that a virtual tie was declared, meaning that both the Cudhigi Yooper Sandwich (6,984 votes) and the Declaration of Indigestion (6,982 votes) will be available for fan consumption.
“We didn’t want a Bush vs. Gore in Florida situation, so we went with both”, explained Whitecaps director of marketing and media Mickey Graham.
The Cudhigi Yooper
For those not “in the know”, “Yoopers” are people who live in Michigan’s upper peninsula region. “Cudhigi” is a famous brand of sausage that emanates from said region. Put these two foreign-sounding words together, and you end up with a sandwich that consists of a sausage patty slathered with cheese, pizza sauce, peppers, and onions.
The Declaration of Indigestion
“When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to disband from the tyranny of healthful eating, they should consume the Declaration of Indigestion,” reads the Whitecaps press release.
Such patriotic and flowery rhetoric probably brought a tear to your eye, so wipe it away and then check this out: a half-pound foot long hot dog covered with steak, cheese, pepper, and onions and served on an colossally-sized roll:
As if all of the above info wasn’t enough, the Whitecaps announced that the following items would also be added to concession stand menus in 2010: potato wedges, sweet potato fries, onion rings, Texas steak nachos, garlic & cheese breadsticks, Texas toast barbeque sandwiches, corn dogs, Italian grinders, boneless Buffalo wings, chocolate-covered cheesecake, fried ice cream and funnel fries.
“We’ll never get rid of it, thanks to you guys,” said Graham, with “you guys” in this case referring to the large hamburger-obsessed media. (How’s that for a sandwich? The fourth estate loves the Fifth Third).
And now I can finally get to my next piece of Whitecap news, which is tangentially related to the food and beverage beat: The inaugural “Wingstock” festival will be held at Fifth Third Field on June 12, and the headliner is none other than Snoop Dogg! To my knowledge, this is the first time that the legendary rapper has played at a Minor League stadium since he captivated Brooklyn’s KeySpan Park (now MCU Park) in 2008. I sincerely hope this is the beginning of a Minor League Snoop golden age.
In one of the most deeply idiosyncratic musical billings the world has ever seen, Snoop’s support act on this evening of chicken wing-fueled mayhem will be…
wait for it…
Jackyl. A band best known for its lead singer’s chainsaw prowess.
To summarize: An iconic West Coast rapper and an AC/DC-inspired chainsaw Southern rock band playing a wing festival held at a Minor League Baseball stadium in Michigan.
This is quite possibly the most American event of all time.