God Bless the USA

Happy Fourth of July! I can't think of a better way to celebrate the holiday than by getting this venerable blog back on track after a week in which other obligations left it sad and lonely. All other potential uses of my time seem frivolous in comparison.

Let's look at a couple of notable Holiday happenings that are taking place in the world of the Minor Leagues. Yes, lets:

Augusta, Georgia, is located some 800 miles away from Coney Island, home of the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. In an attempt to bring the fame and glamour that surrounds this event to their hometown, the GreenJackets are staging their very own frankfurter consumption competition.

Over each of the past six Thursday home games, the club has staged a hot dog-eating contest. And tonight, the winners of each of those six contests will battle to become Augusta's undisputed hot dog champion.

The Championship event will take place upon the conclusion of tonight's ballgame against the Charleston RiverDogs, and will be immediately followed by a fireworks display. Now here's where things get really good: the winner will be able to choose between $200 cash or a trip for two to Weiner, AR. I sincerely hope that this latter option is chosen.

As a service to my readers, I have spent the last three hours (give or take two hours and 55 minutes) researching the town of Wiener, Arkansas. According to Wikipedia, this quaint little burgh has a population of just 760 people. It has located in close proximity to many other hilariously-named towns, such as Birdeye, Bono, Cash, Cord, Egypt, and Strawberry. Those Northwest Arkansasians sure know how to give their communities interesting monikers!

Now, of course, hot dog eating may not be the sort of thing you're into. Perhaps numerical-based promotions are more up your alley. Let's travel 300 miles away from Wiener, all the way to Pearl, Mississippi. There, the M-Braves have put together the following contest:

If the fourth batter in the Braves' lineup goes 4-4 (four base hits) in the game on July 4th, one lucky fan will receive $4,444.00.

If the M-Braves score five runs in the fifth inning on July 5th, one lucky fan will receive $5,555.00.

Finally, if the Braves score six runs in the sixth inning on July 6th, one lucky fan will receive $6,666.00.

That's a total of $16,665, just waiting to be won by a triumvirate of lucky fans. Here's hoping that the M-Braves pull off all three of these statistically improbable events over the course of the weekend.