A Subtle Way to Curb Ballpark Emissions

Whether it's the Fifth Third Burger or a run-of-the-mill hot dog, who doesn't like to indulge themselves at the concession stand during a Minor League Baseball game?

But all actions have consequences, and concession stand indulgence can often lead to temporary bouts of digestive distress. This, in turn, can sometimes lead to the emission of less-than-pleasant odors.

I'm just telling it like it is here, and my newfound candor has been directly inspired by the Lake Elsinore Storm. On Monday, the club issued a press release that, in its comedic potential, is almost too good to be true. In the first two paragraphs, the Storm tout the great value of their weekly "Fat Tuesday" all-you-can-eat special. That's the set-up, and here's the punchline:

"You can probably deduce that All-You-Can-Eat ballpark food might lead to substantial gas emissions, which is where corporate sponsor, Subtle Butt, enters the picture. Made of activated carbon fabric, each disposable 3.25" square shield is held onto the inside of the underwear with two self-adhesive strips. Subtle Butt effectively filters flatulence, absorbing and neutralizing its odor."

Therefore, the first 250 fans in attendance at every "Fat Tuesday" ballgame (the first is on April 14, mark your calendars) will recieve a free product sample of Subtle Butt.

Once again, this is real. Gloriously, hilariously real.

Recognizing a good story when I see one, I made a few calls in order to better understand how this unprecedented partnership came about. First, I spoke with Storm media relations director Steve Smaldone, who soldiered through our conversation despite the fact that several of his co-workers were listening in and laughing at him.

"We wanted to help people out, because no one wants to clear out their section," he said. "We're going to promote this enough so that most people know what [Subtle Butt] is and what we're doing, and we think it's going to go over well."

Smaldone then summed up the team's attitude in more colorful terms.

"We're just going to grab the bull by the horns and let it rip."

Subtle Butt is the latest product from Garment Guard, a company whose signature product is its eponymous disposable underarm shield. The leader of this fearless operation is -- surprise! -- a woman.  

"Our office is full of girls, and all we do all day long is talk about [flatulence] and sweat," said Kim Olenicoff, Garment Guard's founder. "We've never partnered with anyone before, but in Minor League Baseball we might have found the perfect niche."

This ideal pairing came about through the wonders of social networking.

"I grew up with one of the guys [assistant gm Allan Benavides] who works at the Storm," she said. "Through the magic of Facebook he found me and saw what it is I do. He called me up and explained that he thought this would be a good fit."

Of course, Olenicoff hopes that the Storm's "Fat Tuesday" promotion is just the beginning, and that Subtle Butt will one day develop into a well-respected, internationally-known product. But, for now, she's content to take things one step at time.

"We'll see how it goes," she said. "If it goes over well, then great. If not, then at least it was still really funny."