Results tagged ‘ Akron RubberDucks ’
Hello from the main lobby of a La Quinta hotel in downtown Indianapolis. I am in the midst of my latest and therefore greatest road trip, and have somehow already visited four ballparks (with three to go). Each trip takes its own tone, and this one has been particularly manic.
The tone was set on Friday, when I drove from New York City to Akron in order to see the RubberDucks game that evening. Most of the drive was on interstate 80, and this road is kind of a mess to drive on — congested, narrow and, during some stretches, there are more trucks than cars. I got pulled over for speeding almost immediately, but the New Jersey state trooper who did so let me off with a warning and I was most appreciative. I wasn’t so fortunate later in the trip, when, somewhere in the Pennsylvania Wilds, traffic came to a total standstill for over an hour.
I ended up talking to a trucker for a while as we sat on the guardrail, and he said that there was a motorcycle fatality at mile marker 139 (we were at 144). He seemed like a nice guy, but I guess when you’re on the road for a living gallows humor becomes the norm.
“The only reason they’d close both lanes is because somebody got squished,” he said. “The coroner’s gonna do what he needs to do and then they’ll let us go.”
So, yeah, getting to a Minor League Baseball game on time suddenly didn’t seem so important. The seven-hour drive ended up taking 10, and I arrived in Akron as the game was starting. Late arrival or not, I still got a sneak preview of the “Return of the King” burger (read about it HERE) and then suited up as the Goose in a Duck Duck Goose world record attempt.
The next day I had very little time to explore Akron, but I did what I always try to do: I visited a record store.
Square Records was a quality establishment, good mix between new and used offerings and plenty of under-the-radar stuff to peruse. I ended up getting the Heavy Blanket/Earthless live record as well as Kendrick Lamar’s “Good Kid/M.A.A.d. City” on vinyl. I had only had that on iTunes previously, but it is a stone-cold classic and very respectful of the album format. Therefore, I wanted to have it as an album, something to put on late at night in the living room.
As you can see from the above photo, Square Records is next to a movie theater. And not only were they showing “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes,” but a real-life sports drama as well. “Welcome Home, LeBron,” in other words.
This was a cool neighborhood, wherever I was. Surely, this dive bar would be a great place to catch a show.
From there, I filled up the satanic gas tank and moved on to Charleston, West Virginia.
Downtown Charleston was largely deserted on Sunday, but I enjoyed the atmosphere.
On Capitol Street, I visited Taylor Books. This establishment had a coffee shop on the premises and a great selection of books and magazines. Long may it live.
Following standard operating road trip procedure, I picked up a couple of zines while at Taylor. One was a public transit diary, the other a history of Iran-Contra. If you’re lucky enough to have a book or record store that sells zines in the area where you live, then please buy them.
West Virginia complete, it was then back to the Buckeye State.
I wish I had something to share from my time in Columbus, as regards the city itself, but I was under the weather on Sunday and well into the next day. It was really touch and go there for a while. But I’ll persevere, all the way up until the time when I don’t. Gotta keep moving.
I’m in Indy now, as mentioned, and will soon be in Louisville (Tuesday, as in TONIGHT) — Lexington (Wednesday) and Dayton (Thursday) will follow. Oh, and over the last two nights I cobbled a new edition of Promo Preview together, you can read that HERE. (And then tell your friends to do the same.)
I’ll update this post with more if and when time allows. In the meantime, please know that Mick Foley is now a close and personal friend of mine. This photo was taken at Saturday’s West Virginia Power game, which was a great day for Mankind.
I’m going to assume that, at this point in time, you have already thoroughly scoured my post on 2014 road trip itineraries. (If you haven’t, then please click HERE). Thanks to all who have provided feedback on that post; more is always encouraged via email@example.com and twitter.com/bensbiz
But enough about me! Did you know that, in recent weeks, several new Minor League mascots have made their debut? I am sensing a profoundly ambivalent response to that query, but soldiering on in the face of ambivalence is what I do best. Therefore, let’s start with Chico of the El Paso Chihuahuas, who I will be able to meet in person on April 29th. Say what you will about the Chihuahuas name/logo/overall branding efforts, but one thing they are definitely not is bashful. Chico, who came into the world without even a scintilla of an origin story, is IN YOUR FACE.
(This, and all Chico photos, courtesy Peter Svarzbein/El Paso Chihuahuas)
Let’s back up a little…
From the rear. This photo could in no way be misconstrued.
I do my best to refrain from lazy “only on the internet” phrases such as “nightmare fuel,” but there’s no doubt that Chico has a bit of an edge too him. He’s got red eyes, a dog collar necklace, and a cockeyed, teeth-baring grin, three presentational elements that are rarely associated with the Minor League mantra of family-friendly entertainment.
El Paso Chihuahuas — on the cutting edge, or missing the mark? I have a feeling that Chico doesn’t care what your opinion is, whatever it is. He will be performing for a fan base that includes Pauly Shore and Cheech Marin (really!), so chances are that he’ll fit in just fine.
Meanwhile, a couple thousand miles to the northeast, the Akron RubberDucks have unveiled “Webster.”
And, yes, let’s get this out of the way. As noted by more than one of my Twitter followers, Webster appears to be Minor League Baseball’s version of “Poochie,” the superfluous Itchy and Scratchy sidekick whose cynical conception and even more cynical demise was the subject of a classic Simpsons episode.
It turns out that, in the flesh, Webster is downright endearing. Chances are slim that he will die on the way back to his home planet, I look forward to meeting him when I visit Akron on July 18.
— Webster RubberDuck (@WebsterInAkron) April 12, 2014
Out in Modesto, Al the almond and Wally the walnut have long held things down on the mascot front. You’d think that the team would be content with displaying their pair of nuts at every home game, but, no, they want more. Get ready for a female pistachio!
Like all female pistachios, this one needs a name! Fans are invited to choose among Penny, Patty, Shelley, Bella, or Polly, but why isn’t “Ms. Tachio” one of the options? I need to start a consulting company so that such wordplay opportunities are always taken advantage of within the industry. I would be good at this, and you know it.
Finally, in Little Rock, the Arkansas Travelers have unveiled not one and not three but yes two mascots: Ace and Otey. Sez the team:
Ace is a native Arkansan who grew up rooting for the Travelers. He proudly served his country and upon returning to the Natural State competed and won the Mascot Tryout. With a name like “Ace” of course he is a pitcher and stands at a very menacing 7′ 2″ tall and weighs 501 pounds with a size-36 hoof.
From the Travs’ Opening Day Facebook photo album:
At 7’2″, Ace’s height is even greater than former Arkansas Traveler Loek Van Mil!
This, also from the Travs, might be one of my favorite mascot bios in recent memory.
Initially the idea was for just one mascot, but when Ace introduced the Travs and Hughes Agency to his best friend “Otey the Swamp Possum” during the interview process all bets were off. Just like Ace, Otey is also native to the state hailing from Southeast Arkansas. He grew up watching Travs games with his family from underneath the stands at Little Rock’s Ray Winder Field. Otey, who was named after former Traveler infielder and groundskeeper R.C. Otey, claims that he is the Travelers’ “Good Luck Charm”. In fact Otey believes that his superstitions helped the Travs win the 2008 Texas League Championship even though their 62-78 regular season record was the worst for a champion in Texas League history. Otey stands a stout 5 feet tall, he is a fan of second base and the “phantom double play” and his favorite number is .984, which was R.C. Otey’s career fielding percentage.
And with this memorable bio comes a very memorable mascot.
Okay, let’s back it up just a bit…
Otey inspired a brief burst of snark and faux-outrage from amateur hour internet hyperbolists, but so what? As Otey’s bio makes clear — and this is something I learned firsthand when I visited in 2012 — the Travs and their fans have a strong nostalgia for their colorful Ray Winder Field past. So much so, the beer garden at their current home of Dickey-Stephens Field is named after a well-known and often well-lubricated fan who would slide, in shorts, into a popcorn box base. Otey should fit right in.
And with that, it’s time for me to hook slide on out of here.
I long ago gave up on trying to be “first” with news related to the Minor League Baseball culinary scene, as the increase in traffic is met with a commensurate decrease in dignity. All people want to see is pictures, good writing is futile.
But, hey, when in Rome! An email from the Akron RubberDucks waddled into my inbox at the exact moment that I was settling in to write a new blog post, and this email informed me, the sendee, that TWO NEW “EXTREME MENU” ITEMS COMING TO CANAL PARK. Okay, I’ll (metaphorically) bite!
These “Extreme Menu” items are, unfortunately not a reference to Nuno Bettencourt’s short-lived stint as the host of a public access cooking show. Rather, in the grand Akron tradition of the “Nice 2 Meat You Burger” and the “Three Dog Night,” they are EXTREME-ly ridiculous examples of culinary creativity courtesy of RubberDucks food and beverage director Brian Manning.
The new “Extreme Menu” entrée is the “The Pineapple TeriyAKRON Bowl.” It is half of a pineapple, hollowed out to create a bowl. It is then stuffed with a stir fry of grilled white-meat chicken, white rice, and diced pineapple before a finishing drizzle of teriyaki sauce. “The Pineapple TeriyAKRON Bowl” will sell for $11 and will be available at the Nice 2 Meat U Grill located in left field behind the new Fowl Territory seating.
Time to Dole out the picture:
Time to employ another deft “Ctrl-C to Ctrl-V” maneuver. This one is no doubt inspired by the Charleston RiverDogs’ “Beer Shake,” and as an added bonus the RubberDucks describe it elsewhere in the press release as “adults only.”
Joining the “TeriyAKRON Bowl” on the “Extreme Menu” is the giant, 32 ounce “The Ugly Duckling.” It comprises 16 ounces of an Irish full-bodied stout beer is poured over three heaping scoops of vanilla ice cream and topped off with chocolate syrup and chocolate sprinkles. “The Ugly Duckling” is available to adults of legal drinking age at the Sock Hop Ice Cream Shoppe along the right-field concourse and will sell for $9.75.
But that? That is not all.
Also available at the Sock Hop Ice Cream Shoppe are the full line of “Duck Floats,” sure to be a hit for fans young and old. They will be available in 16-ounce size for $5 and a 32-ounce version for $8. Each float is made up of ice cream mixed with a flavorful soda and is named after a famous duck from the world of entertainment. There’s “The Donald,” made with Orange Crush soda and vanilla ice cream; “The Scrooge,” made with Mountain Dew soda and vanilla ice cream; “The Howard,” made with chocolate ice cream and Mug Cream soda; “The Daisy,” made with Strawberry Crush soda and vanilla ice cream; and “The Daffy,” made with Grape Crush soda and vanilla ice cream.
I am deeply disappointed that there is no float called the “You Sucker”.
And there you have it! To all the amateur hour internet hyperbolists who may soon write about these items, just know that I am the greatest of all time.