Results tagged ‘ Auburn Doubledays ’

On A Clear Day They Can See 398th Place

doubledays.gifAuburn, NY has many claims to fame, from the Harriet Tubman Home to the Case Research Lab Museum to the fact that America’s Most Wanted host John Walsh was born there.

But one of Auburn’s most recent claims to fame is a distinct negative, an ignominious anti-accomplishment that the city hopes to shed faster than a moulting snake on steroids: in its list of America’s best sports cities, the Sporting News ranked Auburn #399 out of a possible #399.

Dead last.

The New York-Penn League’s Auburn Doubledays aren’t going to take this lack of respect lying down. They’ve stood tall to their nationally distributed oppressor by announcing an essay contest, asking fans to explain (in 500 words or less) why Auburn deserves a higher ranking. The winner of this contest will receive general admission season tickets as well as official recognition during the “399 Classic”.

“What’s the 399 Classic?” I just heard a voice behind me whisper. Well, my reliable companion Press Release has the answer to that:


The Doubledays will face off against Tri City (representing Troy, NY
which was rated #398 on the same list) in a three game series from July
14 – 16 which the Doubledays have dubbed The 399 Classic!

Events surrounding The 399 Classic include a special reward to the 399th
fan through the gates every night, a surprise giveaway of the 399th
best possible giveaway item and a contest to win a “Mad About You:Season
4″ DVD set (399th on’s most popular DVD list).

Anyone have any other ideas how the number “399” could be celebrated? I’m thinking Al Kaline has to be a part of it somehow, seeing as how he retired with 399 home runs. Or how about inviting members of Local 399: the International Union of Operating Engineers? Finally, why not celebrate the works of Chinese poet and historian Yuan Shansong, who died in the year 399 while defending Hudu during the rebellion of Sun En?

– In other news, the Cyclones have announced the winner of their “YOUniform Contest“. Click HERE to check it out.

Minor League Baseball has announced that the 2010 Promotional Seminar will be held in Las Vegas from September 28-October 1. This means that I get to make a return trip to the Pinball Hall of Fame! Who’s going with me? We can ride the bus together.

Thumbnail image for Kannapolis_Intimidators.PNG– Finally, I wanted to note that the Kannapolis Intimidators are offering free admission to all active-duty military personnel throughout the 2010 campaign. As the press release notes:

“Anyone that shows any form of Military ID, active, retired or a family
member ID at the Intimidators Will Call Window will receive two free
tickets to the game. This offer is valid for all 70 home games in the
2010 season.”

The Truth Is No Longer Inconvenient

dday.jpgAl Gore is currently recognized as our nation’s preeminent authority on global warming and alternative energy sources, but that won’t be the case for much longer.

For while Al and his likeminded cronies are merely talking about should be done, others are out there doing it. And the most innovative of these individuals is undoubtedly Abner, the mascot of the New York Penn League’s Auburn Doubledays.

You see, when it comes to combating the scourge of global warming, Abner has a Plan. With the help of the Doubledays’ front office, this three-pronged initiative was put into action on September 1. Here’s a write-up of this momentous event, from my final “Promotion Preview” column of the season:

“First, 150 pinwheels will be given away, in order to harness the energy
of the wind. Then, the club will offer baked beans at the concession
stand, in order to increase natural gas output. Finally, ‘human-hydro
power’ will be utilized when the team’s staff leads fans in the wave.
From the club’s press release: ‘The wind created by the standing and
sitting of the fans will make the pinwheels handed out earlier spin and
then a renewable energy system will be created.'”

Doubledays GM Carl Gutelius reports that Abner’s Plan was “a complete success”, and has been kind enough to provide the vast Ben’s Biz Blog readership with several photos of this groundbreaking promotion.

Here, Abner investigates a heretofore overlooked source of natural gas: The Umpire.

abners plan 058 e-mail.jpg

Meanwhile, members of the Doubledays’ “Green Team” made sure that the pinwheels were strategically positioned in order to receive the maximum amount of “human-hydro power.”

abners plan 078 e-mail.jpg

In keeping with the theme of the evening, a “tree-hugging” race was staged between innings:

abners plan 111 e-mail1.jpg

And, in order to save gasoline, the Doubledays’ “Rally Tractor” was replaced with a Radio Flyer:

abners plan 089 e-mail.jpg

I have only scratched the surface regarding the ecological innovations that the Doubledays put into practice on this groundbreaking evening. Congratulations to the team for solving one of the 21st century’s most dire problems over the course of nine innings at the ballpark.

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