Results tagged ‘ I Hate the Offseason ’
Similar to Wednesday’s post, I am going to spend today’s allotted blogging time on a powerful 1-2 punch of Minor League news.
First up are the Lake Elsinore Storm, who are capitalizing on the Tiger Woods saga by offering up details on a similar, albeit far-more-literal scandal. It seems that the team’s female mascot, Thunderella, has been cheating on her boyfriend, Thunder — with a tiger from the woods.
Let’s go to the press release:
Lake Elsinore Storm female mascot Thunderella admits to allegations of an affair with a famous tiger in the woods. Montecore, an exotic white tiger owned by Siegfried and Roy, met Thunderella earlier in 2009 when the two attended a performance workshop in Los Angeles.
“Tiger has been very troubled
since his attack on Roy,”
says a representative for
Thunderella. “My client reached out to him as a friend
but it soon became more than that. She is sorry for any emotional distress she
has caused Thunder.”
Thunderella has been dating
official Storm mascot Thunder off-and-on for the last nine years. With other
tiger allegations being released, she felt she had to come clean about this
affair. Tiger has been texting and calling Thunderella while Thunder is out on
his many appearances in the Inland Empire.
Longtime friend of Thunder and
Storm Director of Mascot Operations Patrick Gardenier feels terrible for the
big green dog. “I introduced her to Thunder,” said Gardenier. “To find out she
has been unfaithful truly breaks my heart.”
Sources say Thunder confronted
her about the situation last night and she attempted to flee. He chased the car
with his plastic baseball bat but thankfully did no damage to the Ice Cream
No charges have been filed
against Thunderella and her reps say that this situation will be handled
The best part of the press release, however, is this picture. It’s nuts:
At any rate, I offer my customary kudos to the Storm for once again pushing the envelope. This has to be the first case of mascot infidelity on record, and if I am wrong about this then PLEASE get in touch because I really need to know about these things.
My next item involves the Fresno Grizzlies and their “I Hate the Offseason” video series. I feel compelled to post the latest episode for two reasons. One, I am name-dropped in it. But far more important is the fact that it is a parody of NWA’s “Straight Outta Compton”, in which a quartet of front office “rappers” assert the Grizzlies’ creative dominance in a cocksure style.
Behold, the first Minor League diss track:
I sincerely hope that other clubs feel compelled to respond, as it could result in a feud of Jay-Z vs. Nas proportions. Or at least Jay-Z vs. Noel Gallagher.
The next time I post on this blog, I will be writing from my penthouse suite at an undisclosed Indianapolis hotel. If you are going to be at the Winter Meetings, then I look forward to meeting you.