Results tagged ‘ Modesto Nuts ’

Still Recapping, Moving Images


If you thought I was done recapping the 2010 season, then you thought sensibly.

You also thought wrong. 

One (self-imposed) task remains, and that is to dedicate a post to the best team-produced videos that appeared on this blog in 2010. This is an entirely subjective task, of course, but it is indisputable that the following videos you are about to see possess ample comedic chops. 

In reviewing the year that was, I came to the realization that my favorite videos of the season had the following three things in common: They featured players, they were short (under two minutes) and they were funny.

No team was better at combining the following three criteria than the Peoria Chiefs, who put out videos featuring boy bands, models, and karaoke superstars. But my personal favorite paid homage to the sweet sounds of Motown.

The Tulsa Drillers were able to provide great insight into the culture of the bullpen, whose denizens are free to focus on matters follicles.

In Everett, meanwhile, the players were more concerned with that which resided above the upper lip.

And since we’re talking about players, I would be remiss if I didn’t include the masterwork of Reading Phillies sluggers Tagg Bozied and Matt Rizzotti.

The Charlotte Stone Crabs also used players to great effect throughout the season, as part of their “This Is Stone Crabs Baseball” ad series. This one, starring Isaias Velazquez, was my favorite.

Velazquez has good reason to be upset, and as this video amply illustrates it is not wise to mess with Minor League Baseball players. Behold, the “aqua-palypse” that took place in Gwinnett County.

Of course, a good Minor League video doesn’t necessarily need to feature the players at all. Lakewood BlueClaws intern “D-Bo” made a name for himself this season with a series of videos designed to highlight upcoming promotions. Here’s a sample, with sight gags a-plenty:

Amazingly, I’ve gotten this far without posting a parody video. Let’s rectify that immediately, by checking out the Binghamton Mets unique take on “Twilight”.

But nothing inspires parody more than early ’90s West Coast gangsta rap, as evidenced by these two works of art.

The above video was produced by the Peoria Chiefs, bringing this post full circle. But before closing this one out, I have just one more thing to announce:

It’s Peanut Butter Jelly Time!

Boy oh boy is it ever.

Almonds Play In the Cantina While Ex-Presidents Inflate and Rodents Rappel

As part of my increasingly desperate attempts to provide content from when Minor League Baseball was still being played on a daily basis across the country, please enjoy this triumvirate of pictures from the Modesto Nuts’ “Star Wars Night”.

The club promoted the evening with this video, which if nothing else shows how easily a pair of anthropomorphic nuts would fit into the cantina band line-up:

And I’ll be honest here: the last time I featured a “Star Wars Night” on this blog I ended up with about 4.2 billion hits. Plenty of people were kind enough to link to it, often with remarks like “check out these hilarious pictures!”

That’s something I’ve learned over the years — pictures are key. Writing, not so much. That’s why I would never waste upwards of one hour each day agonizing over pun construction. Of course not. That would be stupid.

But what certainly isn’t stupid is a giant inflatable mascot created in honor of a former team president. Behold inflatable Chuck Domino, unveiled during the Reading Phillies’ Hall of Fame Night on August 31:


But the Reading Phillies, like almost everyone else, have moved on to offseason concerns. The team is currently providing a series of video progress reports as FirstEnergy Stadium undergoes a $10 million renovation project. Here’s Chapter 1:

Domino, meanwhile, is now Chief Executive Manager of the Richmond Flying Squirrels. Today, the Squirrels announced that Nutzy the mascot plans to rappel down a 25-story building next month.

For charity, of course. Sez Nutzy:

Help send me Over the Edge and for Special Olympics Virginia. That’s right…I’m hoping to rappel off a 25-story building in downtown Richmond this October! In order to take on this challenge and join other fearless Special Olympics fans on the roof, I must first reach my fundraising goal. With your help I’ll be dangling from 400 feet up in no time!

Richmond -- Nutzy actual front.JPG

The thought occurs to me that Nutzy should be kept far away from Modesto, as he would probably attempt to store that team’s pair of anthropomorphic Nut mascots within the confines of his cheeks.

But such abstract concerns can wait — the playoffs are still going on! Get pumped, Northwest Arkansas fans. Get pumped.

No matter how where you are in your particular baseball journey — postseason, offseason, or otherwise — I thank you for your continued patronage of this blog. You keep looking at the pictures, and I’ll keep writing. It’s a nice little symbiotic relationship we have going here.

Coast to Coast Canned Meat Carving

Spam.jpgOne might think that I’ve already fulfilled my Spam Carving blogging quota for the 2010 campaign, and that additional posts on the subject would be gratuitous at best and offensive at worst.

Well, one would be wrong. For I have received a copiously detailed missive from the wilds of Northern California, documenting in painstaking detail the canned-meat sculpting competition that was recently staged by the Modesto Nuts. This momentous event made it clear that Spam Carving can thrive within West Coast ballparks, far removed from its Reading, PA origins.

Nuts’ director of marketing and public relations Christa Parr explains that the competition was comprised of five one-person “teams”, who had “20 toothpicks, a knife, a fork, salt and pepper packets, and 30 minutes to make their greatest Spam carving epiphany a reality.”

This Spam competition, like all others, began with the sound of the preservative-laden product oozing out of its restrictive confines:


And after the 30 minutes of intense artistic concentration were up, here is what had been created.

Team 1: “I’m With the Band”

I call this a “Spamplifier”:


Team 2: “The Party House” 

Parr notes that this work was created by a 10-year-old, who thoughtfully constructed a house-sized giant next to said house.


Team 3: “The Mystery (Meat) Machine”

It may be unclear from the picture, but the artisan behind this one actually constructed roadside scenery (including trees and a billboard).


Team 4: “Spam Stonehenge”

Parr relayed an anecdote about how an onlooker criticized Spam Stonehenge, noting that it “had been done to death.” I’d like to think that I contributed to this perception, having featured a “Stonehenge-looking thing” in a previous Spam carving blog post.


Team 5: “Untitled”

My own title for this is “Lobster God”.


I would have voted for “Lobster God” as my favorite, but unfortunately I was not in attendance. As it turned out, The Mystery (Meat) Machine earned top honors, with Party House edging out Spam Stonehenge in a closely-contested race for second.

80% of the competitors, along with 80% of the Spam creations:


That’ll do it for this, my latest round of Spam Carving coverage. I’ve got some excellent, non-Spam content lined up for the next two days, but after that the well is dry. Fill it up!

Slugging Saints, Bored Broadcasters, Horse Hoarders, and Tulsa Troubadors

zephyrs.jpgThis past Wednesday, the inaugural “Heath Evans Charity Softball Game” was held at Zephyrs Field in New Orleans (home of the New Orleans Zephyrs, natch).

The event featured Evans and a whole slew of his New Orleans Saints teammates, but it was Super Bowl MVP Drew Brees who stole the show. The multi-talented QB hit home runs from both sides of the plate during the home run derby portion of the evening, and then bashed another one during the game itself.

Somewhat inexplicably, no professional-grade video seems to exist of Brees’ batting barrage. But a few amateur cinematographers documented it to the best of their abilities, as seen here:

From the right:

And during the game:

Moving on from baffling under-documentation to copious over-documentation, the Modesto Nuts recently released a video that details just how maddening (and interminable) rain delays can be. Absurdity levels are off the charts on this one:

And speaking of absurdity, the Lakewood BlueClaws have been releasing videos that are jam-packed with groan-inducing puns and shameless sight gags (meaning that inclusion on this blog is guaranteed). Meet “D-Bo”, who provides a joke-filled tour through the ins and outs of the team’s upcoming homestand:

Finally, the Tulsa Drillers are one of many teams to stage a local variation of “American Idol”. This recently released video illustrates a dramatic disparity among the talent levels of the various contestants:

It might be hard to say goodbye to yesterday, but it sure is easy to say goodbye to today.

Until we meet again, I remain: