Results tagged ‘ Rust Never Sleeps ’

Dream the Impossible Dream

Yesterday I made a big to-do about returning to present-day matters, but enough of all that. The present is eternal so there’ll be plenty of time for it later.

Today, I want look to the future. Teams across the country have begun the arduous process of putting together their promotional schedules, which leads to the following question:

What would YOU like to see take place at a Minor League ballpark in 2012? Dare to dream! We can worry about budget and sponsorship constraints later; now is the time to simply put it all out there.

I posed this question on Twitter yesterday, and in doing so provided three dream promos that I’d like to see (in addition to “Weird Al Night,” which goes without saying).

Neil Young Night: Thirsty Thursday theme night with Rust Never Sleeps theme jerseys, Crazy Horse drink specials, vacation giveaways to Buffalo (NY) and Springfield (TX), Neil Young karaoke between-innings (use your best falsetto).

Salute to 3rd Party Candidates: An evening in honor of those who made a political impact outside of the traditional two-party parameters. Fans wearing a whig get in free, food and drink specials in the third inning (including Bull Moose Burgers), Ross Perot look-a-like contest, special “seatbelt seating” area in honor of Ralph Nader, representatives from local third parties manning informational booths on the concourse.

Spibute to the Troonerism: Named in honor of notable malapropist Reverend William Archibald Spooner, a Spoonerism is defined on Wikipedia “as an error in speech or deliberate play on words in which corresponding consonants, vowels, or morphemes are switched.”

Reverend Spooner: "Mardon me, padam. This pie is occupewed. May I sew you to a sheet?"

So what better way to celebrate Spooner’s legacy than with an evening of intentional tongue-twisters: Rome Huns, Piled Witches, a spirited rendition of “Bake Me Out to the Tallgame” and maybe even a Clench Beering Brawl! Spoonerisms all evening over the PA and on the videoboard, team-logo spoons to the first 500 fans in attendance, and free admission to all fans who can successfully define ‘morpheme” at the box office.

And, of course, there are a nearly infinite number of regionally specific promotions that could potentially be staged, honoring people, places, and things indigenous to a specific market. A prime example of this would be a suggestion I received last month from intrepid Minor League traveler Rex Doane, who asked that I lobby the Hagerstown Suns front office to stage “Rondo Hatton Night” in honor of the legendary horror film actor (and Hagerstown native).

What d’ya say, Suns?

Rondo Hatton: A bigger draw in Hagerstown than Bryce Harper?

Please hit me up with some of your own suggestions, via comments, email, and Twitter. No idea too small, no idea too absurd. Let’s get creative and have some fun with this, because why not? Opening Day is still 4000 hours away, and that’s a whole lot of eternal present to get through.

benjamin.hill@mlb.com

twitter.com/bensbiz

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