Results tagged ‘ self-pity ’

The Sky’s the Limit

To begin today’s post, I’d like to share one of the greatest mascot photos of all time:

That sky-diving bull is Hornsby of the Tulsa Drillers. Jumping out of an airplane (why not?) was one of his last acts before undergoing a thorough overhaul. As part of an effort overseen by Mascot Doctor (and original Phillie Phanatic) Dave Raymond, the Drillers hired a full-time performer and and re-did the costume.

Meet Hornsby 2.0:

I think a good way to publicize the new Hornsby would be to make a video of him in a sushi restaurant eating soup, accompanied by the sounds of 2 Live Crew. The video would be called “Miso Hornsby.”

Never mind, sorry, strike that from the record. It’s just that if you can’t please everyone you’ve got to please yourself. And speaking of guardin’ parties, the 550-pound Ryan Howard Garden Gnome recently presided over the Reading Phillies humdinger of an Opening Night celebration.

A $10 million offseason renovation project always results in an extra-festive atmosphere!

Duck!

Ostriches!

Disco Briscoe!

But for many teams, the pomp and pageantry of Opening Day soon succumbs to cold, hard, reality. Emphasis on the cold. The Wisconsin Timber Rattlers are snowed out today, and yesterday evening West Michigan Whitecaps played a ballgame despite this being the scene earlier in the day:

But in the team’s own words: “If there’s snow on the field, play ball!”

Such frosty weather can be hazardous to mascots as well, as the Lake County Captains latest “Christmas Story”-themed giveaway dramatically illustrates. On July 23, one year after the “Skipper Leg Lamp“, the team is distributing this:

Keep Your Nose to the Foul Pole

Yes, Skipper’s nose magnetically attaches itself to the foul pole.

That’s all for me today, but before I go let me note that there is a NEW PROMOTION PREVIEW column and that FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED! I want to be the Big Meech of Minor League Baseball writers, but instead feel like Hoover because all of my writing occurs in a vacuum.

I’m sure this has nothing to do with belabored, obscure, and obsessive compulsive wordplay.

benjamin.hill@mlb.com

twitter.com/bensbiz

Bribes and Goodbyes

Thumbnail image for qcriverbandits.gifJust last week, I mentioned the fact that the Las Vegas Wranglers of the ECHL were going to be staging “Blagojevich Night”. As part of this promotion, the team will take to the ice wearing prison uniforms, and an open seat between the player’s benches shall be auctioned off to the highest bidder.

Upon mentioning this item, I lamented the fact that such an imminently promotion-worthy scandal had occurred in the baseball offseason. Because what’s the point of scandal if it can’t be capitalized on by a Minor League Baseball team?

Fortunately, the Quad Cities River Bandits have stepped in to fill the void. Yesterday, the clubbob evans.jpg publicly endorsed Director of Baseball Operations Bob Evans for Illinois’ still-vacant Senate seat. Whether they were moved to take this action as a result of my blog post is beside the point, because I’m just going to assume that they were. Why else would I have gotten into the blogging game anyway, if not to erroneously validate and promote my power and influence within the industry?

I’m sure not doing it for the money, as my paycheck currently comes in the form of concession stand vouchers and discontinued team merchandise.

Anyhow, forgive me these moments of self-indulgence. The 2008 blogging year is reaching its end, and I am finding it hard to say goodbye. So to return to the River Bandits, here are some samplings from yesterday’s press release:

bevans.jpg

The team is offering the Governor quite a bounty for the
vacant Senate seat, including four club season tickets – featuring private wait
staff delivering food and beverage orders directly to fans’ seats – as well as
two nights in a luxury suite at Modern Woodmen Park, and advertising for the
State of Illinois on the brand new LED ribbon board that will be installed this
spring.

“I feel honored that the River Bandits have selected me as
their choice for United States Senator and am confident that I will be a great
asset to the state government,” said Evans, 65, as he spoke from his Moline
home. “As an usher, greeter, concession stand worker, salesman and little
league coach, I’ve worked with Illinois
baseball fans for decades. I know what people want. Also, I’ve worked with a
lot of umpires here at Modern
Woodmen Park
and I know I make better calls than most of them.

So congratulations to the River Bandits for getting in on the action, and using the Blagojevich scandal to generate a little bit of Holiday time publicity. Now, it’s my turn to get in on the act, with the just-conceived “Ben’s Biz Blog-ojevich Promotion.”

The first person to bribe me with complimentary words about my blogging skill will, in return, get a free post on this here blog (600 word max). It can be about anything you want, provided it passes muster with both myself and MLBlogs’ draconian Standards and Practices department.

benjamin.hill@mlb.com

Well, that’s it for me, guys. I truly thank everyone who has made this blog a regular destination over the past year, and I look forward toward bigger and better things in ’09.


And, this holiday season, remember the things in life that are truly important:

Thumbnail image for Taco In A Helmet-thumb-450x587.jpg

Kane County Able to Capitalize on MLB's Skyrocketing Cougar Population

cougars.gifAs regular readers of this esteemed blog are well aware, there is nothing I like more than writing unsolicited commendations of Minor League PR innovations in exchange for little or no recognition. That’s what I was put on this Earth to do, and who am I to argue with my cosmic destiny?

Therefore, it is with great pleasure that I direct your attention to a novel and interesting contest that was staged by the Midwest League’s Kane County Cougars. At the start of the 2008 campaign, 96 former Cougar players had appeared in the Major Leagues. I’ll let the press release take it from here:

This past March, the Cougars began a “100th Cougar Contest” in
conjunction with the organization potentially reaching the milestone
this season. Fans were encouraged to submit a guess from a preselected
ballot of nine former Cougars who were on the verge of becoming
gray.jpg Major
Leaguers this season.

One of these pre-selected Cougars was right-handed reliever Jeff Gray, who played for Kane County in 2006. Gray made his Major League debut with the Oakland Athletics on September 8, and in the process became Cougar #100 to make it to the bigs.

Take it away, press release:

Cougars fan Kerry Palmiter of suburban Romeoville was the randomly
selected entry winner. Palmiter submitted the correct guess earlier
this summer and will receive an authentic Cougars home jersey with
special #100 embroidery.

This is the first time I have ever heard of such an innovation, and it is definitely a good one. Focusing on alumni success in the Major Leagues encourages the team’s fans to follow former Cougars as they climb the Minor League ladder. Perhaps more importantly, it drives home the point that fans are watching future Major Leaguers each and every time they attend a Cougars game. Perhaps this is obvious, but it is a distinction that can be lost on casual fans, due to the fact that the level of play at Class A (and lower) often seems worlds away from “The Show”.

In Other News: Congratulations to the Fresno Grizzlies for winning MiLB.com’s “Promotion of the Year” for 2008. The club’s Mascot Showdown netted more than half of the 9,149 total votes cast, while the Lancaster JetHawks came in second with 23% of the vote.

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