Results tagged ‘ Toledo Mud Hens ’
Last week, I dedicated a post to the third annual “Minors Moniker Madness” competition. The goal of this ridiculous endeavor is to determine who has the greatest name in all of Minor League Baseball (and, by the way, don’t forget to VOTE! Just 16 names remain…)
Minors Moniker Madness is far from an anomalous event, however, as several other baseball-related entities are staging March Madness
rip-offs tributes of their very own. Among them:
The Toledo Mud Hens — Jamie Farr’s favorite Minor League team is currently in the midst of its “Eat 16″ tournament, in which fans are asked to vote for their favorite concession stand items. My prediction is that Nachos, a #14 seed, emerges as the Cinderella story of this competition. Vote HERE.
The Omaha Royals — Warren Buffet’s favorite Minor League team sent shockwaves through the blogosphere after dropping this bombshell of a press release. In lieu of a tedious summarization of said press release, please allow me to quote liberally:
OMAHA, NE – He’s the President of the Omaha Royals, but Alan Stein is a
native Kentuckian and a graduate of the University of Kentucky. No
surprise then that he has made a friendly wager that the Wildcats will
emerge victorious when they become one of the marquee basketball names
to visit Qwest Center Omaha next Monday night in the second round of
the National Invitation Tournament.
Stein was hoping to make the
wager with Creighton University Athletic Director Bruce Rasmussen.
However, Rasmussen is not allowed to do that by NCAA rules. In stepped
Jill Rasmussen, Bruce’s wife, to carry the flag for the Bluejays.
If the 21-13 Wildcats win, Mrs. Rasmussen will be sending a box of
Omaha Steaks to Stein. If the 27-7 Bluejays pick up the victory on
their home court, Stein will be shipping Mrs. Rasmussen a basket of
Kentucky Proud products, which will include a bottle of the
world-famous Maker’s Mark bourbon.
“I am absolutely confident that the blue-and-white will prevail on
Monday night,” Stein quipped, as both teams wear those colors. “I can’t
wait to attend the game.”
“Bring it on,” Mrs. Rasmussen simply said.
UPDATE: Mrs. Rasmussen has since trademarked the phrase “Bring it On.” I had to pay over $800 just to include those three words in this post. It was worth it.
Baseballposts.com — This one gets points for thoroughness, as baseballposts.com has assembled a tournament that seeks to determine nothing less than the the most popular team in all of Minor League Baseball. 223 teams are featured, divided into eight regions, and voting will continue until April 15.
This is a herculean and somewhat quixotic endeavor, akin to the the famous scene in Fitzcarraldo in which a 360-ton boat is dragged up and over a hilltop.
Which reminds me — when is a Minor League team going to step up and stage a “Salute to Werner Herzog” promotional night? Existentialist between-innings games and contests, Klaus Kinski look-a-alike contests, and Popul Vuh over the loudspeakers — it would be a night of family fun!
Okay, the crickets have arrived in force. That’s my cue to get out of here while the gettin is still good…
Today I must draw my readers’ attention to my Minoring in Business “cover” story, which features the Holiday Wish Lists of 20 (!) Minor League teams.
Folks, this is the kind of content you just can’t find anywhere else, so I hope you appreciate it. I could just as easily be getting paid to write literary essays on the cultural effects of 21st-century social isolation for Harper’s, you know. Lewis Lapham is constantly badgering me to do this.
But, no. The Minor Leagues are my calling, so I must answer the call. Therefore, revel in today’s article, which is chock-full of interesting Holiday requests. There is currently a poll on the MiLB.com homepage, asking fans to vote on their favorites. Your choices include three masterpieces of the Minor League Holiday Poetry genre (Huntsville, Toledo, Quad Cities), as well as a handwritten mascot letter (West Michigan) and a superb doctored photo (Tri-City ValleyCats).
And I may as well get in on the act as well, and post a Holiday Wish List for this here blog. I refuse to address it to anyone in particular, but I nonetheless believe these things will happen as a result of positive karmic repercussion. I give, so that I may get. Here are the two things that I want:
– More readers! The numbers have been really strong lately, especially for the offseason, but there is still plenty of room for growth. I feel that the subject matter has appeal far beyond “the industry” and Minor League Baseball superfans. The culture and atmosphere of a Minor League Baseball stadium reflects the culture and atmosphere of the community in which it is located. Taken together, these community portraits represent and reflect American culture.
To summarize, and tone down the pretention a notch (sorry Lewis): Minor League Baseball IS America.
– More feedback! There has been a nice uptick in comments as of late, and I routinely receive emails from front office folks and fans alike. But…more please! I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: this blog is a two-way street. The content will only ever be as good as what I am provided with by my readers.
So get in touch, for any reason at all:
This past offseason, Toledo Mud Hens Director of Media Relations Jason Griffin generated a good deal of attention for his team when he offered A-Rod a contract with the Mud Hens.
The contract offer was, of course, facetious. But looking back, perhaps A-Rod would have been better off in Toledo. Away from the harsh glare of New York, he could have settled in to a much more relaxed and carefree existence. Instead, A-Rod stayed in the Big Apple, where his marriage disintegrated after he was “brainwashed” by Madonna, his alleged “soulmate.”
But those in the know are aware that Toledo wouldn’t have offered any respite for the beleaguered slugger. Because Toledo is home to none other than Muddonna:
Therefore, its probably for the best that A-Rod didn’t end up in Toledo. As embarrassing as it has been for him to have his marriage broken up by an internationally known pop star, it would have been doubly embarrassing if the homewrecker in question had been an International League mascot.
Who would win in a race between a kitten, a flea, and an armadillo?
This question, which has plagued mankind since the beginning of time, is now being answered on a nightly basis at Toledo’s Fifth Third Field. Last month, the Mud Hens instituted “Racing With the Stars”, which pits three costumed celebrity parodies against one another in an all-out battle for mascot supremacy. Let’s take a look at the three competitors, who are all inspired by notable Toledo natives:
Mud Hens Director of Public Relations Jason Griffin reports that, thus far, 17 races have been staged. Kitty Holmes has won eight, Jamie Farmadillo has won five, and Jim Flealand has won four. However, one of Flealand’s victories came with none other than Jim Leyland in attendance. Look!
Seeing as how Jamie Farr is a regular attendee at Mud Hens games, it will most likely only be a matter of time before he meets Jamie Farrmadillo. Far less likely is Katie and Kitty Holmes being spotted at the ballpark together, as no less a Scientology authority than L. Ron Hubbard has stated that appearing in the presence of a costumed parody of yourself can toxify the spirit and prevent attainment of the state of Operating Thetan.
Regardless, the “Racing With the Stars” series is off to a rousing start, and it will be interesting to see whether Kitty can maintain her lead over Farrmadillo and Flealand as the season progresses.
If anyone is aware of other interesting mascot races currently taking place in the Minor Leagues, then please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. My livelihood depends on this.