On the Road 2017: Calling Designated Eaters
If you’re a long-time follower of this blog, then you know the story: In 2012, I was diagnosed with celiac disease and had to go gluten-free. The next season, I began recruiting “Designated Eaters” at the ballparks I visit; these individuals are tasked with consuming the ballpark cuisine that my diet prohibits.
A major milestone in Designated Eater history was achieved last season, when the official Designated Eater t-shirt (made by Retro Brand) was unveiled.
All across America, proud Designated Eaters of seasons past are proudly wearing them.
Do you want to join this elite club? Then read on.
My previous Designated Eater policy was “first come, first served,” meaning that the first person to email me got the job. This policy worked fine, but it resulted in my most loyal readers always getting the job. Don’t get me wrong, I love my loyal readers, but this time around there will be a two-week window in which to apply. I’m trying to diversify the Designated Eating pool.
If you want to be a Designated Eater, at any of the places listed below, email me at benjamin.hill@mlb.com In your email, please explain (in 100–100,000 words) WHY YOU WOULD MAKE A GOOD DESIGNATED EATER. In the subject line, please write “Designated Eater” along with the city in which you would like to designated eat.
Be funny, be creative. I’m looking for people who have a sense of fun and spontaneity and, thus, will not be afraid to embrace the ridiculousness. Because, let’s face it, this whole concept is ridiculous.
AVAILABLE DATES
4/20: Frisco RoughRiders: Lance Carter
5/11: Inland Empire 66ers:
5/12: Lake Elsinore Storm: Thunder the Dog (!)
5/14: Lancaster JetHawks: Jason Hensley
5/16: Rancho Cucamonga Quakes: Charles Eldridge
6/21: Billings Mustangs
6/22: Great Falls Voyagers
6/23: Helena Brewers
6/24: Missoula Osprey Matt and Cheryl Schoss
6/26: Idaho Falls Chukars
6/27: Ogden Raptors
6/28: Salt Lakes Bees: Garrett McClintock
6/29: Orem Owlz: The Crum Twins (Zach and Tyler)
7/28: Binghamton Rumble Ponies: Chris Van Bunte
7/29: Hartford Yard Goats: Damian Ford
7/31: Wilmington Blue Rocks: Ryan Van Duyn
8/1: Frederick Keys: Alison Vermilya
8/2: Reading Fightin Phils: Michael Aulenbach
8/3: Altoona Curve: Zack Hulings
8/18: Down East Wood Ducks: Wes Wolfe
8/22: Buies Creek Astros: Brittany Kiley
Note: Tentatively, I will not have a Designated Eater for 8/19 in Charleston and 8/21 in Columbia, as I was in both of those places last season.
Another Note: Team employees are not eligible.
A Final Note: If I am unable to fill all Designated Eater positions, so be it. Less logistics for me.
Hope to hear from you soon.
benjamin.hill@mlb.com
twitter.com/bensbiz
instagram.com/thebensbiz
